feeding our family on purpose

Marissa and I have five children. We try our best to be there for them emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually. Speaking for myself, I haven’t always been a good dad. In fact, until very recently, I was a terrible dad. I know that. I’ve accepted that. I’ve been intentional about my change and growth. My wife was such an awesome mom — a great example for me. She’s such a treasure to me. It was a bit of a culture shock for her, which is wild to say, but I had to do something.

Trust and Honesty

Whenever I saw my reflection in the proverbial mirror, I was understandably disgusted. That may be a strong word — I was disappointed in myself. I had almost completely lost all respect for myself. If I thought about it honestly, the way my family saw me and the way I saw myself were both my fault. Regardless of where I came from or my past experiences, I was the reason I was a lousy dad and husband. That realization broke my heart.

I would often sit and reflect, introspectively, on what I found — defeated and hurt — and I’d ask myself, “You see what’s wrong. It is what it is, but what are you going to do about it?” Of course, I had to change. I wouldn’t trust myself if I didn’t, and I’d be forced to live with a man I had no respect for.

This is some pretty deep stuff, but it’s where I was.

Diet and Health

I didn’t know if He was listening to me — I didn’t even know if He was there — but I told God that if He would show me where I was missing the point, I would fix it. He was there, listening. The first thing He pointed out was the way I led my family through food.

I started to think about my responsibility to teach my children how to live. Basic things, I know, but they were so real. I began to realize just how much I had been missing the mark. I changed our diet. I started reading ingredient labels — and, oh my goodness, I was so confused. It scared me. Since I didn’t know where to start, I decided to cut out anything I didn’t recognize. That small change completely transformed our lives.

I was convinced right away. My wife took more convincing — she initially thought I was doing the most.

Together

There were so many other things that were “fixed” once I started paying more attention to our food. When my wife finally came around, we began having very real conversations with our kids. We talked about food, but food was only an entrance to start talking about other things: faith, life, love.

I’ve felt so free since we made our change, and my kids have told me that I’m a good dad. It hurt in a bittersweet way — but in the best way possible.